Earlier, Irrfan Khan shared on social media that he is
diagnosed with a high-grade neuroendocrine cancer. The actor is presently in
London for the treatment.
Irrfan wrote a note to a famous newspaper and opened up
about his cancer and how life took a drastic turn unexpectedly and how he is
fighting it.
Irrfan Khan wrote,
"It’s been quite some time now since I have been
diagnosed with a high-grade neuroendocrine cancer. This new name in my
vocabulary, I got to know, was rare, and due to fewer study cases, and less
information comparatively, the unpredictability of the treatment was more. I
was part of a trial-and-error game. I had been in a different game, I was
travelling on a speedy train ride, had dreams, plans, aspirations, goals, was
fully engaged in them. And suddenly someone taps on my shoulder and I turn to
see. It’s the TC: “Your destination is about to come. Please get down.” I am
confused: “No, no. My destination hasn’t come.” “No, this is it. This is how it
is sometimes.” The suddenness made me realise how you are just a cork floating
in the ocean with UNPREDICTABLE currents! And you are desperately trying to
control it. In this chaos, shocked, afraid and in panic, while on one of the
terrifying hospital visits,I blabber to my son, “The only thing I expect from
ME is not to face this crisis in this present state. I desperately need my
feet. Fear and panic should not overrule me and make me miserable.” That was my
INTENTION. AND THEN PAIN HIT. As if all this while, you were just getting to
know pain, and now you know his nature and his intensity. Nothing was working;
NO consolation, no motivation. The entire cosmos becomes one at that moment –
just PAIN, and pain felt more enormous than GOD. As I was entering the
hospital, drained, exhausted, listless, I hardly realised my hospital was on
the opposite side of Lord’s, the stadium. The Mecca of my childhood dream.
Amidst the pain, I saw a poster of a smiling Vivian Richards. Nothing happened,
as if that world didn’t ever belong to me. This hospital also had a coma ward
right above me. Once, while standing on the balcony of my hospital room, the
peculiarity jolted me. Between the game of life and the game of death, there is
just a road. On one side, a hospital, on the other, a stadium. As if one isn’t
part of anything which might claim certainty – neither the hospital, nor the
stadium. That hit me hard. I was left with this immense effect of the enormous
power and intelligence of the cosmos. The peculiarity of MY hospital’s location
– it HIT me. The only thing certain was the uncertainty. All I could do was to
realise my strength and play my game better. This realisation made me submit,
surrender and trust, irrespective of the outcome, irrespective of where this
takes me, eight months from now, or four months from now, or two years. The
concerns took a back seat and started to fade and kind of went out of my
mindspace. For the first time, I felt what 'freedom' truly means. It felt like
an accomplishment. As if I was tasting life for the first time, the magical
side of it. My confidence in the intelligence of the cosmos became absolute. I
feel as if it has entered every cell of mine. Time will tell if it stays, but
that is how I feel as of now. Throughout my journey, people have been wishing
me well, praying for me, from all over the world. People I know, people I don’t
even know. They were praying from different places, different time zones, and I
feel all their prayers become ONE. One big force, like a force of current,
which got inside me through the end of my spine and has germinated through the
crown of my head. It’s germinating – sometimes a bud, a leaf, a twig, a shoot.
I keep relishing and looking at it. Each flower, each twig, each leaf which has
come from the cumulative prayers, each fills me with wonder, happiness and
curiosity. A realisation that the cork doesn’t need to control the current.
That you are being gently rocked in the cradle of nature."
Our heartiest prayers for Irrfan Khan's quick recovery.
No comments:
Post a Comment