TV actor Eijaz Khan, has over the years unquestionably changed,
both in his professional and personal life. The actor, though broken
inside at times knows how to sail through the hard-hitting phase with grace and
maturity.
The actor who was head over heels in love with
a Canadian singer Natalie Di Luccio, while speaking to a daily,
opened up on why their relationship went ruined.
"We were two amazing people at different phases in our
lives. The root cause of our relationship falling apart was my psyche. It
started going downhill during 'Laut Aao Trisha'. I played a dark character, who
turns bitter after losing his wife and daughter. Somewhere, the lines blurred
between real and reel and our relationship suffered. I had to undergo therapy
for depression, and it made me realise that I was superimposing my childhood
memories to play the part. I also realised that all my issues are deeply rooted
in my childhood. I had unresolved issues with my parents after they parted
ways. My aunts took turns to look after me. I never had a strong bond with my
parents. I was always looking for someone to hold on to, some sort of an
anchor. Coming back to Natalie, we remain cordial. I never loved anybody like I
loved her — like a child, my equal, a friend, travel partner. I don't think it was
right for me to expect Natalie to give her precious time to our relationship. I
would have also advised her to focus on her career if I were her family. I am
the only person who knows the real Natalie. After she left, I was very
disturbed to the point of not wanting to live anymore. I would lock myself up
in my room for days on end. As actors, we are emotionally fragile. On top of
that, we men are expected to be macho and strong, no matter how broken we are
inside."
He further revealed, "I won't say I am at peace, but I
have started directing my energies towards my goal. That eases me out. I am in
turmoil when I am not working, as I have to live with myself. I invested my
time, energy and happiness in her without being asked. Love and respect make my
world go round. I become the best person for my partner. I give so much
expecting the same or more in return — it doesn't stem from self-respect; it
stems from insecurity. I have abandonment issues. If I love somebody, I need to
be loved back. But overwhelming your partner is not right. I won't mind putting
my career on the back burner if my partner wants me to stay at home and take
care of the child. I am an actor and can return to the field whenever I
want."
Eijaz added more while speaking about the
ideology of love told, "I am not averse to the idea, but I am not
looking forward to it either. I can't go through the trauma of losing someone
again."
